He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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