How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize