If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
