I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
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