do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
