if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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