I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
