Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
