I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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