Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
