I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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