Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
