Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize
