You work out of a Hotel?
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
