I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
There r osticjed everywhere
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
