Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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