Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
