Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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