He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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