I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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