remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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