the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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