you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Randomize
