I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
