so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
