just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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