she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
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