somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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