I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
