I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
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