I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
