btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Everything about him screamed your future.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
