I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Randomize
