the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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