why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Randomize
