hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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