I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
