Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Two words: nipple clamps
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