Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
love makes seman taste better
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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