3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Randomize
