you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
