Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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