I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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