Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
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