Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
