I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
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