Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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