You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
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