his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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