her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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